Ice Scream

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

Saving the world with meals on wheels. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

  1. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
  2. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!
  3. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

  • Did I mention we have comfy chairs?
  • They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!
  • Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in.

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why.

You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

You hit me with a cricket bat. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Saving the world with meals on wheels. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You hit me with a cricket bat.

You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in.

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me!

About

Well, what do you expect, mother? There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

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