Breakfast

It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!

Who am I making this out to? We’re rescuing ya. Why did you bring us here? I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! Throw her in the brig. Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.

You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Moving along… No, she’ll probably make me do it. I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Ok, we’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go ride the bumper cars.

  1. And when we woke up, we had these bodies.
  2. Who am I making this out to?
  3. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

Shut up and get to the point! What kind of a father would I be if I said no? I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Fry, we have a crate to deliver.

Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that. Your best is an idiot! Ooh, name it after me! Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

  • Tell them I hate them.
  • Shut up and get to the point!
  • I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things.

Your best is an idiot! It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Then we’ll go with that data file! Ummm…to eBay? Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?

Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe! I love you, buddy! When the lights go out, it’s nobody’s business what goes on between two consenting adults.

Bender, you risked your life to save me! For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! Really?! Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court!

Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men.

That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! We can’t compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!

Kids have names? When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film!

That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?

Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? No! The cat shelter’s on to me. Who am I making this out to?

Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long.

And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr. Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn’t make sense. But, okay! And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things.

About

Well, what do you expect, mother? There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *